Most guys hear the word man and instantly envision the traditional Marlboro Man pose, with lowered brow, and suspicious gaze…
So, lets get real and be serious about this for a moment…or, better yet, let’s NOT. Being too serious, and trying to flirt, is like C3PO trying to break dance. So, how can we take the tension out of dating, while maintaining effectiveness?
Listen, I work with a lot of guys and I know that most of them feel pretty clueless when it comes to flirting. They either overdo it, and come off like a horse’s $&# or the don’t do it enough, failing to create any sexual tension. These guys tend to live with the “nice guy” label, and have many female “friends” in their lives but little romance.
The first key to flirting is to RELAX. When you are uptight about a girl “liking you”, she will sense it and lose interest FAST. This is not rocket science here guys!
When you feel this way, look her in the eye and imagine her snoring. I know it sounds strange, but when you see that pretty face of hers blaring out a loud snore while asleep, she tends to lose all the importance you have given her. The idea is to realize that she is not deserving of your power, so why be freaked out in her presence?
Second, being flirtatious means being playful. There is a lot written up out there about the importance of being “cocky”. Frankly, this idea is played out. The guys I meet tell me the same thing:
“Every time I get cocky with her, she loses interest in me. I always come off like an ass!”
Yep. That’s why we don’t talk cocky here. The key is to be PLAYFUL. Teasing her is GREAT. Treat her like she’s the nerdy kid in high school. When she does something dumb, bust her on it. When you do this though, do it with a smile – be sure she knows you are teasing her. Otherwise, without the playful attitude, you will be categorized as a jerk.
Incidentally, NEVER make fun of her looks. Feel free to compliment her “look”, but never tease her about her genetic appearance. Tease and bust on her behavior only. This is where the fun happens.
The magic combination is to combine this playful attitude with being a gentleman. Open doors, pull out the chairs, offer your arm when going over the curb, help with her jacket…all of those chivalrous things…DO THEM.
Feel free to be as nice and courteous to her as possible. But, be sure to mix that with teasing and a playful combination. Having this mixture allows you to be a gentleman. Without it, you become her “friend” and a “nice guy”. Yuck!
By revealing that you are considerate and fun, you become the big winner. It is the essence of what is called “push/pull”. I cover this in greater detail in my products. For now, just note that when you tease her, you subtly (psychically) push her away. When you are considerate and chivalrous, you pull her towards you. This creates TENSION.
This tension is also known as – Sexual Tension. To flirt like a man means to be the master of tension. When to dial it up, when to slow it down, and when to drop it altogether. It takes experience to master it, but focus on these principles to ride the fast track:
• Relax – nothing is more unattractive than an uptight guy, chill out and lower the stakes;
• Playful – tease her, poke fun at her, and do it with a smile;
• Gentleman – Open doors, offer your hand and make her feel special;
• Confidence – do all of the above with confidence, and you will help her feel comfortable and valuable…this combo makes you the big winner.
I hope you find this helpful.
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Stephen Nash
Cutting Edge Image Consulting
www.ceimageconsulting.com
Stephen Nash of Cutting Edge Image Consulting (CEIC) is author of the book How to Get A Girlfriend: The Seven Essential Skills for Attracting the Woman of Your Dreams and Natural Attraction, 7 CD Audio course on image enhancement and dating for men. Learn how to become a man that's magnetically attractive to women of exceptional quality and how to build positive and healthy relationships through charisma and self-image enhancement.
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