Change
Lets just suppose you were trying to cook a beautiful cake, and for whatever reason, the result was lessthan you hoped for, would you just go ahead and do exactly the same thing next time you tried to cook a cake?
Probably not! You would in all probability try and figure out what it was that gave you the poor result, and modify your recipe or cooking 'formula' to try and obtain a more satisfactory result next time around.
Seems logical doesn't it? If what we are currently doing isn't giving us the results that we want, we change, experiment, use a bit of trial and error, until we get the longed for results. An even better option is to look at what others have done successfully, and duplicate a recipe that is already proven to get the results we want.
Why then is it that when it comes to really important things like financial security for our families, the quality of our relationships, and the care of our health both mentally and physically, so many of us don't seem to apply this simple common sense approach?
We see it every day, a person stuck in a dead end situation, going nowhere fast, whining about haw bad things are, about how everybody else has inflicted this terrible situation upon them, but unwilling to say, 'if what I have been doing thus far has given me these undesirable results, why don't I try doing something else in order to achieve different results.'
We see people go from abusive relationship to abusive relationship, never stopping and asking themselves if maybe they did something differently, they might get a different type of relationship as a result.
We see people sick from abusing their bodies with poor diet, tobacco, alcohol and drugs, suffering from atrocious health degradation, but who don't stop and think long enough to realise that if they change what they do they can change to a significant extent the results that they get.
Habit
Now I imagine some of you saying it is not that simple, that some of these things are long standing and ingrained habits, and that people can't just change completely overnight.
I agree that these are habits, however what needs to be realised is that all of these habits started somewhere, people were not born with them, they are learned. In exactly the same way that old habits were learned, new positive habits can be learned to replace the old negative ones.
By using a persistent, step by step approach based on the same underlying behavioral mechanisms that led us to form the old habits in the first place, we can replace our habits with planned and deliberate habits which give us the changed results we wish for in our lives. In this way we have total control if we choose to exercise it.
The key stands in the 'choice gap', this is what makes us as humans unique amongst (known) species. We can receive a behavioral stimulus (Pavlov can ring his bell) and in the moment of stimulus we stand in the 'Choice Gap' where we can choose not to 'react'
instinctively but to make a considered deliberate response.
We can effectively re-condition ourselves, or in NLP speak anchor ourselves to have a different conditioned response (habit) to a particular stimuli. Every time we choose a response different from our negative habit, we weaken the neuro pathway supporting that habit, and strengthen the neuro pathway supporting the new response. When the neuro pathway supporting our new habit is bigger and stronger than the pathway supporting the old behavior, the new behavior become our habitual and instinctive one. Eventually the neuro pathways supporting behaviors that are no longer used (old habits) die out completely.
Is it difficult? Of course, nothing worthwhile ever came easy. Is it worthwhile, to reprogram yourself with deliberately chosen, positive and empowering habits? Absolutely!
Attitude
Why is it that some people use this extraordinary ability to change their lives and others don't?
Firstly to use this power a person need to know it exists, if they don't understand the mechanisms of habit and behavioral change, they cannot make the choice to exercise this power to change.
Secondly, of those which know of this, which now includes you the reader, (there's no way out for you now) an individual must acknowledge the need for change. If a person is perfectly happy with their life as it is, then why should they change.
Finally, a person must believe that they can change, knowing that something is possible for people in general, and believing that something is possible for me are two completely different things.
Whilst the first of these requirements is purely knowledge based and we can't expect people to act based on what they don't know, The last two are really a matter of attitude.
In fact, taking that statement a step further with, the main difference between people who successfully go on to replace bad habits and ineffectual behaviors, and those who don't, is their attitude.
Why is Attitude the Key?
Attitude affects what we do...
because our attitude determines how we interpret what happens around us in the world, and consequently it has a large influence on how and what we think.
Our thinking in turn is the major influence on the choices we make, and what we do, which in turn determines the results we get.
For example, if our attitude is one of seeking constant personal growth and improvement, we will spend time thinking about how we can grow and improve, and consequently we will seek out and find ways, and probably at least attempt to implement them.
Attitude affects what we attract...
because we attract things people and things into our life which are consistent with our attitudes,
Ever heard the saying 'misery loves company', or 'birds of a feather flock together'? These are both expressions of people attracting into their lives what they are putting out into the world. If we put out an positive attitude of personal empowerment we will find positive personal empowerment coming into our lives from the most unexpected places.
How Do I Develop My Attitude?
Once we accept that our attitude is the key to making the changes we need to make, in order to live the life we want to live, the question arises, how and where do I start to develop my attitude?
The answer is deceptively simple, Attitude is caught rather than taught.
It is something you pick up from the people around you, your family, work colleagues and friends. It is also something that you get through what you read, what you watch and who you listen to.
To begin making the changes in attitude you need to make, you need to start consciously seeking out positive books, audio programs, AV programs and associations of people. You need to consciously put yourself in the position whereby you can catch the right attitudes by exposing yourself to them on a deliberately regular and systematic basis.
How does one find the right resources to expose oneself to?
There is an abundance of appropriate materials around both online and off, ranging in price from free to thousands of dollars, some of the classics that come to mind as a great place to start include The Magic of Thinking Big and Think and Grow Rich, but there are literally thousands of worthwhile sources of positive attitude resources from your local library, to one of the many online stores. It really is just a matter of having a look.
So the only real question left is, are you willing to change your attitudes in order to change those parts of your life that you are dissatisfied with, or will you continue to suffer on, disempowered to make any progress by your own choice to avoid change.
For FREE success education and positive attitude resources visit Timba Free Stuff at http://www.timbaent.com/free
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A Veteran of the Afghanistan Campaign and Anti Piracy Operations in South East Asia, Tim is now an online entrepreneur and is actively involved providing life education and positive mentoring to youth in his local community.
Copyright 2006 Tim Baird
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