It’s time for the USA to resolve, once and for, to bring down the curtain on international conduct so clumsy it can be seen, not as dexterous, but as the ballet Frankenstein.
Time to remember that ninety-nine percent of our practically usable power comes out of the barrel of a cash machine, so we concentrate on being the economic superpower we know how to be, not the military superpower we aren’t ruthless enough to be.
Time to let the mad world go its self-punishing way, till, through economic success, we show the nations that are devoted to disagreement with us that we’re conducting a world they ought to get in on.
What can we do in the meantime?
Here’s the dumb-blunt knot. The Republicans say it’s good to stay in Iraq. The Democrats say it’s good to get out. And, of course, they’re both wrong, as extremes usually are.
What’s the third answer?
We need to be there so we can impede the worst threats to the welfare of our allies and our own nation. But we need to be there intelligently.
So we set up three variations of our military base in Guantanamo – one in the north, from where we can stare at Syria; one outside of Baghdad, where we can watch the insurgents; and a third in the south, as a special present to Iran.
We also fortify the Green Zone, with an even wider protective perimeter. So the government we helped set up has a chance to do what it can, until it’s certain that the only choice its members have is to fly to us so we can airlift them out to sanctuary.
What we don’t do anymore is involve our troops in their day-to-day, strife-torn, dismally backward society.
It’s high time we stopped being our clumsy, suckered selves. It’s time for bye, bye ballet Frankenstein and hello American Ballet Theater.
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Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs."
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