New Program Allows Internet Marketers To Gather Information About Your Body

While you’re sitting at your computer, thinking the worst that could happen is somebody could steal your identity, you’re about to discover than someone is scanning your body.

New Internet marketing tools, which have become so increasingly sophisticated we are often surprised that forms we fill out online already know what we’re going to write in the blanks, have now gone beyond mind games to body maneuvers.

Marketers want to know things like what your body really looks like, so they can design clothes that fit you more flatteringly. They want to know what you smell like, so they know just how to create a soap that gets you odor-free and smelling pretty while not being so strong that it turns your skin into the dermal equivalent of a saltine.

Of course, there’s a lot more they want to know, but that’s readily available to your imagination.

The thing to understand is, don’t sit too close to your computer anymore. Try to type from as great a distance as you can. It’s your last line of defense.

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Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs."